Nightmares--I haven't had one for quite awhile, definitely not since I arrived in the nursing home a year ago.
In the years my mother lived with me before her death, I had several. When I cried out, Mom came to the rescue. She woke me up and delivered me from the threat. I've missed that comfort now that she's gone.
The other day I took a snooze in the lobby. I don't sleep well at night, so I take an occasional nap.
I dreamed I was riding a train. I think it was a train. It could have been a bus. Of course, like all my dreams, the details are fuzzy.
I do recall approaching a station. To my surprise, Mom was waiting on the train platform. And Aunt Violet and Aunt Lucile! Oh, how I wanted to visit with them. I headed for the door, ready to go through the doors and walk into their welcoming arms.
Instead of stopping, the train raced faster. I called, in the sleep-logged voice that hampers nightmares, "Stop! Stop!" Frustration overcame me because I knew no one could understand what I was saying. My family faded into the background as we went faster and faster, and my cries turned to wails of "no, no, no."
About that time, an aide touched me on my shoulder. I reentered my world. Sitting in a corner of the lobby, computer in front of me, various residents scattered across the room. Nurses rushing to my side, making sure I was all right.
The dream left me shaken and sad. I want to see my family. My gaze wanders heavenward more and more. The older I get and the more physical ailments I suffer, the more I look forward to my heavenly home. Mom and her sisters are waiting for me, but no matter how loud I yell "stop!", the train won't stop until God's timetable allows it.
Come to think of it, my dream reminds me of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, where it was always winter but never Christmas.
David (yeah, we're back to David psalms. There really is a difference.) would have understood the analogy. He described it with different words. He was speaking about people who treat others like a "fast-food meal." Their night is coming, and it will never end--and their nightmares will have the reality of life, with no one to wake them out of the terror.
Thank God He woke me up from the nightmare of my life apart from Him. He is my waking dream, both now and forever, paradise my permanent home. With Mom, Jolene, Grandma, my aunts--and dozens of friends who have gone on before. His "faithful friends."
Today's favorite verse: I thank you always that you went into action. And I'll stay right here, your good name my hope, in company with your faithful friends. (Psalm 52:9, MSG)
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