"Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
You'll be confident and exuberant,
expansive in The Holy of Israel! (Isaiah 41:14-16)
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to go eat worms. A sad child's rhyme. It's even worse when we feel like the worm.
Forget all about all the positive aspects of insects. Yes, God did create them as an important aspect of our ecosystem. But I prefer to squash them under my foot, if I don't shrink away in disgust first.
Sometimes I feel like others see me that way. I feel like I wear a neon sign that reads "victim," that invites other to take advantage of me. I squiggle like a worm when a visitor who cares, who wants to encourage me, can't find a conversational topic. (I decided that the next time, I'll ask them questions. It's my job to make them comfortable.)
But God never wants me to feel that way. Not fear, but faith--faith that even if I feel as unlikable as a worm, as fragile as an insect, God will help me. He'll not only help me, He'll make confident. Exuberant. Expansive.
Confident--without doubt, moving forward without questioning myself
Exuberant--boisterously happy. Unable to stay quiet about what God is doing.
Expansive--doing more than originally planned.
That's the way I want to live my life. When God's help--I will.